What’s The Status of Your Relationship?

Young man and woman behind cracked glass

How can you be sure the person you’re dating is for you? Are they all about you?  Bringing out the joys in you? Or could it just be all games and for the time being? If a relationship isn’t enhancing the well being of  both parties , could it truly be worth it?  A good relationship makes partners feel secure and reassured. Relationships are supposed to be selfless and enhance growth among partners. Here are the top 15 signs that you may be in a bad relationship.

In the blog ,” The 10 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship”  by Journalist Laurie Pawlik Kienlen, she shares  the top ten red flags to watch out provided from researchers and psychologists.

1. You keep your partner’s actions and words a secret

Secrecy in any relationship is a big no no. If a partner wants you to keep the things you do together a secret, it may be that he’s hiding you as his secret.  When in a relationship, you should be able to tell friends and family certain love gestures a partner does for you. Who wouldn’t want to tell the world how much a person means to them. It’s part of sharing affection and allowing others to know the affection your partner has for you. Just remember to be careful of not telling too much .A relationship should still be kept private in the essence of not allowing others to dictate what happens in your relationship and how the two of you communicate.Communication is very important to sustain a lasting relationship. It’s part of self disclosure.

2. Your partner wants you to change.

Love is based on a choice and being unconditional. We have to learn how to accept people for who they are. If someone is trying to change your very essence and being, then they don’t really accept the person you are. This will only complicate matters and eventually turn things sour. Yes we all have flaws and we can all work on improving our inner shell, however, no one can change another person and if that person isn’t what you want, leave them alone. You’ll make that person miserable as well as yourself if you continue to try to force a change on them that won’t happen. We can always want more for someone and want best for them, however change has to start from within.

3. Your partner doesn’t trust you. 

To manage a relationship without any trust can be exhausting and tiresome.  Ever heard the quote a relationship without trust is like a car without gas. The relationship won’t move and will either wither or become stagnant.  Both individuals will end up draining each other emotionally and perhaps even physically. And sooner than later it will be easy for unwanted guests to break a relationship that is empty from lack of trust.

4. Your partner puts you down, in private or in front of others.

Joking around and just being plain rude are too different things. If your partner purposely jokes about your insecurities  in front of others or in private, knowing that his or her remarks cut deep is a red flag! It is time for you all to part ways, some one who loves you will never put you down where it hurts!

5. You don’t feel like an equal partner in your relationship

A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship ! It is a full time commitment and yes their is work that needs to happen in order to make it the relationship successful! It’s called investing time and energy without misusing time and energy!

6. You and your partner don’t have the same long or short-term goals.

You all may not have the same passions in life, but that doesn’t mean you all shouldn’t be on the same relationship goals. If one sees marriage in the future and the other doesn’t then the relationship may be a wasteful relationship. Partners must see eye to eye when the future of the relationship is at stake.

7. Your boyfriend says he loves you, but doesn’t act like he loves you.

Love is shown by action. Love cannot be bottled up, so if someone loves you it’s going to be more than words can show for. Love is reciprocated with acts of kindness, appreciation, and respect.

8. You feel bad, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship.

A relationship isn’t going to be great all the time! There will be arguments and disagreements but if these things happen often and make you feel sad and depressed to even be in a relationship with your partner , it is definitely unhealthy!

9. Your family and friends aren’t supportive of your relationship

This is something I struggle with. I’m so anti listening to family and friends about how I feel about those whom I’ve dated. But we should learn to value their opinions because they could see things that we may be oblivious to. You know the old saying love is blind, well with family and true friends, they can sometimes see the bs before we can. Even if you don’t act on what they are telling you, it’s ok to at least listen to them and not become so defensive. They may have a valid reason behind why he or she is not good for you.

10. You’re wondering about the warning signs of a bad relationship.

Go with your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right about the relationship then something really may not be right. Don’t question your gut feeling.

11. You take each other for granted 

Love should never be taken for granted and neither should people! Don’t waste your time with someone who is abusing your time and heart! Life is too short

12. The Blame Game

Shit happens in a relationship! That’s just the nature of the game. Both partners should take equal responsibility in what is going wrong and what is going right! Checking in with one another to check on emotions and the satisfaction of the relationship may also be helpful! When attacking the character of your partner happens , it continues to break down your partner’s self esteem.

13. Omitting Truths/Lies

Relationships are built on trust and honesty! Even if the truth hurts, it should still be told!Communication is key and lack of communication has destroyed many of relationships! Tell the truth! Yes even if it kills your relationship, because omitting truths is like completing fraud and manipulating your partner into making them stay with you.

14.  Lack of Respect

Lack of respect stems from lack of communication. How can you be with someone you do not respect! That’s a fire waiting to happen.

15. There are no compromises

In a relationship compromises must be met. This does not mean that your partner should ignore your morals or values. Partners should respect morals and learn not to compromise one’s moral beliefs.

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