Photo Credit : Davisqui Fotografia
Although you’re out of your current situation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the pain is gone. Many times we fail to acknowledge the amount of pain a past situation left in our lives. We don’t like to admit that we have been broken in some form or shape. Then that’s when our pain starts showing up in other aspects of our life.
Ever been in a really jacked up situation from a relationship? Maybe your ex cheated on you, made you feel like trash, got with a new woman and now he is treating her like the queen you wished he treated you as. Or you ever felt so abandoned and alone in your relationship that you had to call it quits. Perhaps your last situation wasn’t even a relationship problem.
People struggle with many things in life, whether family problems, heartache, recovering from a job loss, or losing something or someone very close. There are somethings that take a really long time to heal from.
So how do you know if the pain is still lingering but you’re just ignoring it? If you start overcompensating or overindulging in other things in your life to make up for the pain, you’re still holding on to it. If you’re just dating to get over the last person, you’re still holding on to it.
While working on my career goals I have found that I tend to overwork myself just to ignore the fact that my past has hurt me. I end up paying for it later because I don’t take a step back to analyze why I’m focusing so hard on not feeling that pain , instead of just going with the flow and acknowledging the fact that I’m still hurt.
Sometimes our mind will backtrack to the pain because it was a real feeling. There’s no time limit on when something painful is supposed to stop hurting.
I recently wrote a blog post back in August, about some of the toxic relationships I was involved in and how it can take years to heal from those type of relationships. The healing process can sometimes be frustrating. You want questions answered, you’re working on rediscovering yourself and you sometimes force yourself not to think about whoever the person is you are thinking about.
Honey, it’s ok to think about that person or situation that hurt you ! It just means you really cared and it had a tremendous affect over your life. Don’t fight those emotions away, instead learn to tunnel them into being productive and forging them into something positive.
Do you know how a pearl is formed?
A natural pearl is formed when an intruder gets inside an oyster’s shell . The intruder can consist of a grain of sand, floating food, or another particle from the sea. The foreign particle irritates the oyster and in order to protect itself, the oyster must fight off the foreigner by covering it with layers of nacre— the mineral found inside the shell. The oyster continues to undergo this process until it pops out the the particle with the layers of nacre and produces a beautiful pearl gem.
If an oyster never undergoes painful situations, a pearl could never be formed. When God removes a situation out of your life, but the pain still exists, it is then time for you to produce an amazing pearl for the world to see.
What I have found most helpful is journaling, creating prayers and sharing my thoughts with God in my journal. This is one way I meditate.
I read an article called “6 Ways Journaling Will Change Your Life” by Lifestyle Blogger CM Smith and learned that journaling can help you get out what you really feel on the inside, gives you a better understanding and perspective on things, while building a new sense of serenity.
It can also help you work on forgiving others and yourself, which is something I am learning how to do. I have also dedicated time to analyze the situation while gaining wisdom and insight. Pain produces growth and if you’re not growing , you’re not changing .
Taking time for yourself is also very important. While learning more about who Bre is, I have found that my energy attracts crazy amount of energy from others. I’m like a magnet and sometimes it scares me.
Another way to tell if you’re still holding on to the pain, is if you feel bitter and depressed about how the situation turned out. Our false expectations and perceptions of life mentally screw us up. Often times we place emphasis on the way it should be and instead of the way it actually is.
So if you’re out of the situation but still feel the pain from the situation, make something great and worthwhile from the pain and push for your breakthrough. Regroup your thoughts and share your testimony!