Sometimes as women we want to rush or progress a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship faster than a man. It’s true, men pursue the woman that they may want to be with. Normally it’s based on false pretense or superficial aspects at first glance, until a man gets to know a woman for the real her. Men see something they like physically and they want to try it out. Eventually it’s the personality and other deeper qualities and assets of the woman that drives them crazy.
What I have learned as a young woman is that men value friendships over a ‘girlfriend/boyfriend relationship’
But let’s face it ladies, if we are really feeling him, we will go through extremes to try to get him to commit. And if that’s not you , I can honestly say I have done this in the past.
What we have to understand is that friendships grow with time. Don’t be in such a hurry to be his girlfriend that you forget to be his friend.
Here are some tips to help you be a great friend to the man you are heavily attracted to.
1. Learn how to communicate with him without nagging him
2. Learn that you are not his mother
3. Learn that you are not his homeboy , you will never be able to take the place of his boys. However learn that his homeboys cannot do what you can do for him. You ultimately really do hold the power.
4. Give him his space and let him hunt you down.
5. Don’t make assumptions if he did not express to you what is really on his mind
6. Know that it’s ok to ask questions when you are unsure
7. Do not try to control him
8. Express your personal boundaries
9. Always be a listening ear without passing judgment
10. How you treat yourself is how he will treat you
11. Learn how to joke with him and laugh at his jokes (Learn his humor)
12. Be goofy with him
13. Respect him in front of his homeboys (don’t tell his homeboys what he told you in confidence and also don’t pick at his self esteem even if his homeboys joke with him about it)
14. Don’t embarrass him in front of his boys
15. Find out what he likes
16. Learn his love language
17. When expressing your emotions learn how to communicate in a way that is receptive, rational, and to the point
18. Use your words as tools to help and uplift, not as a weapon for destruction (Try to defuse an argument rather than add fuel to the fire)
19. Do not force any type of relationship or friendship. These things should come natural and grow.
20. Support his dreams