Stop Dating Men With Status, If You Can’t Handle It

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I live by the saying, ‘women know what they are getting themselves into with a man  before trouble in paradise even strikes. Many of us just fail to pay attention to the signs, because we are so caught up in our own fantasy world in the beginning of the relationship.

Ideas of wedding rings, with a large wedding, and a honeymoon seem to filter our thoughts  making our mental capacity cloudy.

 I’m extremely guilty of this myself!

It’s something about men with status that attract women. Especially a man that’s always in the public eye. Whether he’s in a frat at an university,  the CEO of the next  big Fortune 500 company, a principal at a high school, the music director of a radio station, the producer of a rap artist,  or even the rap artist himself—women just love a man that is in power in some shape or form!

Even men desire status for themselves.

There are many elements of status, it’s not just about wealth or being privileged.

‘Status has always been particularly important for men. Biologists have long observed that males across species (including our own) are much more sensitive to “status defeats” and have a much stronger drive to attain status than females. Within humans, a man’s drive for status is woven into nearly every facet of masculinity.’ ( A Man’s Life : Men & Status An Introduction)

I’ve grown to understand that women like men with status because status presents a role of authority. And whether women like to admit it or not, we are all attracted to men who hold authority.

It’s in our nature to want a man to lead, service, and protect.

However the basis of how we meet a man is very important. What was the environment like? Where did you meet this man?

Did you meet him in the club? At a networking event? Movie set? In a business meeting?

If you met him in the club , while he was popping bottles, or if you met him at a networking event, while he was working on expanding his brand or business, understand that you crossed into his territory.

He is not going to stop being the person he desires to be just because you came in prancing his way or you caught his eyes and attention.

If you can’t hang with the big dogs don’t get in the ring and play the game to win!

Stop pretending to understand  his lifestyle, if you really can’t handle it.

I am tired of women and men trying to detour one another away from their dreams because of their own selfish wants and insecurities.

No this man ( WHO  YOU KNOW BY THE WAY was  a Marine , Sargent, police officer, model, fashion designer, rapper, comedian,  backup/background dancer, entrepreneur, producer,  attorney or even doctor) is  not going to put everything on hold for you as a woman.

It doesn’t matter what his occupation is, it’s unreasonable to think that any man is supposed to text , call or spend all of his time with you 24/7.

You have to also understand that status creates a platform for a man and other women besides yourself notice that as well.

If you think other women want him, you’re absolutely right!

Other women may see exactly what it is you see. Why wouldn’t any woman want to be with a man that is highly respected and notable among his peers?

If you’re that insecure about him working with other women, or women flirting with him, maybe you need to evaluate  your own emotional needs and insecurities, by diving into more of who you are as a woman.

It’s  also unreasonable to think that any man is supposed to text , call or spend all of his time with you 24/7.

And if you are the mother of his children, stop using your children as a pawn for him to stop working on  his dreams. You shouldn’t even use your children as a means of excuse for you to stop progressing in life and wanting more.

Babies don’t kill dreams, fear does.

So while he is busy chasing his dreams, you should be just as busy going after what it is  you love.

Journalist Brandon Wade wrote  in the Huffington Post, ‘To understand what successful men look for in a woman, we have to look into how roles and responsibilities have shifted over the past few years.’ ( 5 things Successful Men Notice First In A Woman).

He continues by stating that ‘ In ancient times, and by ancient I mean prior to the 1980s, men’s idea of a perfect woman was one-dimensional.’

‘Men sought out women who had the biological qualifications such as wide hips and full breasts for bearing children, as well as women who would generally make good “housewives.” It is easy to say the needs of successful men haven’t changed and dismiss the matter, but that is not true. The last recession had a sobering effect on American families: A singular breadwinner is a thing of the best. Men realized the need for two support beams in a family and soon the notion turned into an ideal, then a standard.’

Men want women who are also achieving their goals, because it helps them grow as well. If you’re always concerned about who he’s with and where he’s at, there is no way you can possibly be focusing on achieving success in your life.

If you’re keeping yourself on target, you’re helping a man that wants to achieve more in his life focused and on target as well.

In no way am I telling a woman to accept disrespect in her relationship!
Hell no, if he is disrespectful,  that has nothing to do with his public status, it has everything to do with his character. So kick him to the curb! It will only continue to get worse.

 

However, you cannot change a man’s ways, character, or his chosen career path.

Understand that those plans for his life were chosen before he even met you, so regardless if you’re with him or not, his focus as a man is still going to be to achieve.

Nonetheless always remember that as the woman you are the prize! Find out who it is you want to be and go conquer the world!

Sources :

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/09/08/men-and-status-an-introduction/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-wade/dating-advice_b_2049249.html

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