Photo Credit : P Images
‘Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:25
While learning more of who I am and appreciating the journey of where God is taking me, I have fallen in love with the artistry of modeling.
I would love to one day model for multiple agencies that have a philanthropy on ending and preventing sexual assault & domestic violence, while also illustrating and promoting high runway fashion and new social campaign trends .
Being a survivor of child sexual molestation and repeatedly entering into emotionally toxic relationships, I decided to take control of my own life and choices by redefining my own sexuality and gaining internal and external confidence within myself.
As I’m learning how to forgive those who have harmed me, I’m also working diligently on exposing the sickness of sexual abuse without living in fear and becoming comfortable in my own skin.
Studies show that the ‘National estimates of childhood sexual abuse histories among black women range from 34 to 40 percent.’
Results of a study conducted in 2013 by researchers Katherine N. Lestrade, , Nancy L. Talbot, (Ph.D.), Erin A. Ward, (M.S.W.), and Natalie A. Cort, (Ph.D.) ‘demonstrated that persons who are related to the victim of childhood sexual abuse, as compared to those outside of the family who are perpetrators, was more strongly associated with high-risk sexual behaviors in a clinical sample of depressed black women'(High-Risk Sexual Behaviors among Depressed Black Women with Histories of Intrafamilial and Extrafamilial Childhood Sexual Abuse).
I embrace the fact that I am an amazing survivor of sexual abuse because I have overcame so much. After I was abused I went through a season of purging that was very detrimental to my health and could have killed me.
I used to slice my wrist and purposely do it to release pain. Some of the marks can still be found on my left wrist near my veins.
My past has allowed me to embrace my voice and help other women who have endured some of the same things, but are too afraid to voice what has happened to them.
Sexual abuse leaves permanent scars within a survivor mentally, emotionally, and physically.
‘Research is constantly improving on how child molestation effects the brain for an adult later in life. Childhood emotional and sexual abuse mark women’s brains in distinct patterns — with emotional abuse affecting regions involved in self-awareness and sexual abuse affecting areas involved in genital sensation, according to new research. The study links specific types of abuse with symptoms experienced by many survivors later in life.’ (Maia Szalavitz,Sexual and Emotional Abuse Scar the Brain in Specific Ways)
‘But abuse can interfere with development. To cope with overwhelming experiences of distress, the brain can alter patterns of signaling from the pathways involved, which can ultimately leave those regions underdeveloped from reduced input. The brain of a child who is raped, for example, may react by reducing the connectivity of the regions that were hurt.’ (Maia Szalavitz,Sexual and Emotional Abuse Scar the Brain in Specific Ways)
I enjoy taking certain photos that are edgy and somewhat revealing every now and then because it allows me to take back the power that was taken away from me, not being placed in a box ( just because I am a woman) and not allowing society to tell me how I am supposed to be with my own body.
I’m very unconventional with my messages and understand that not everyone will agree with certain messages or images I represent.
I guess you can think of me as a liberal. The more I study and read about sexual assault and what happens to a woman when her power has been stripped away, I dive into using many of my photos from modeling as an outlet to express inner beauty, embracing my own sexuality and feminism, while learning to love my body the way I want to love it.
If that means wanting to take a swimsuit photo shoot and allowing some of my cleavage or breasts to hang from the bottom of my bikini , I will do just that with no apologies ( in a very sophisticated and sexy way—it’s not like I’m showing my nipples people).
Men and women both have breasts, unfortunately when a man poses without his shirt, it’s sexy , but when a woman decides that she wants to show just a little bit of under cleavage it’s called being whorish ???
Photo Credit: P Images
Most people will look at the above picture and think thoughts of negativity like, ‘She needs to put some clothes on’, ‘She’s selling herself short’ ‘Why are her boobs hanging out of her swimsuit?’ ‘She’s using her platform the wrong way’, ‘This is completely inappropriate’, ‘She’s doing what they want every woman to do in the media’.
However when I look at this picture , I see a woman full of resilience, perseverance, strength, courage,relentlessness, ambition, pride, and beauty.
In modeling you learn that poses make one hell of a difference in what message you are sending and cultivating. It’s not always the picture, but how the model or muse chooses to pose that defines the picture.
Another reason why I decided to take certain risqué pictures , is because of a viral photo that revealed my most intimate sexual moments back in 2012, which almost ruined my self image as a woman.
After that , I vowed that I would always be in complete control of how I wanted to express myself to the world.
Now do I agree that there are some photos that expose too much and are very distasteful? Sure and you may contest that the above picture is one of them ,but let’s be honest there’s way more nudity on TV and on social media, then in the above picture and some of the women on social media are just doing it for the likes and attention.
However regardless of if it’s for the likes and attention, I believe all women should have the power in voicing how they would like to be represented without being shamed, ashamed, or having a negative stigma coexist with their message if it is positive.
What I represent is positive, but not everyone will see that or understand it.
Many people judge based on what they see on social media and don’t read into things on a deeper level.
A woman’s body is so admirable,intrinsic, delicate, exquisite and divine that sometimes it takes one woman appreciating all elements and aspects of her body by embracing her own sexuality for people to actually understand the beauty of other women.
#MYBODYMYTERMS #FREEDOM ‘My Element Of Freedom’
Photo Credit: P Images
In the industry I am venturing into and pray to have longevity in, I already know that some will label me as a sex symbol based on some of the images I have already posted, especially since sex sells. And when you’re beautiful, have a body, and decide to take pictures that are risqué, some people look at you as being senseless, uneducated, and ignorant
There are many women in the world who aren’t even allowed to show their legs, or hair. Other women are mutilated. But I am that voice for all women !
I am 1 out of 4 women in the world that are sexually assaulted and sexually abused. 1 out of 7 men are also victims/survivors.
What will you do to end child molestation?